Change is life itself.
We face many moments of change: a job change; a divorce; the loss of a child; from a parent or a partner; the estrangement of a friend; or the changes that an illness brings…
Despite experiencing these situations throughout our lives, I don’t think we have trained ourselves or qualified for change.
After studying and working for leaders and teams and even observing my own life, I can point out that we initially resisted changes.
They propose something new to us and perhaps our first response is “NO, it’s better to stay as we are…” They invite us to dare into an unknown space and we say: “we better try it later…”
Why do we resist?
This initial resistance can be explained by the way our brains are “wired.” Our brains like comfort, familiarity, and avoidance of effort. Our brains are always trying to save energy and they do this by turning almost all routines into specific habits.
A change implies, at first glance, an additional, extra effort, which on first reading, our brains will try to avoid.
Then we face change and undergo transition. But we have no choice but to walk through it, because that is life itself.
Think about that situation that you are experiencing and that is inviting you to change. Or perhaps, think about the change that you are facing today. Are you resisting or welcoming it?
Becoming aware of how resilient we are to the changes we face throughout our lives could help us redefine the way we face them. More than bad, it’s all a matter of how we mean what we live.
Ask yourself:
What could I learn from this change I am facing?
How could what I am experiencing help me?
Could I be a better person or a better professional if I manage to navigate this change?
Visualizing what you will gain, visualizing the benefits of going through that change without resistance and with kindness, could help you obtain greater benefit. Something like looking at yourself, imagining yourself on the other side of the river. Having crossed it. Who are you there?
I really like the words of Michel Manciaux in his book Resilience.
From chaos emerges the cosmos, from disorder the order, from darkness the light, from the ugly the beautiful, and we can only recognize the virtues of the beautiful against the background of what we find ugly; that which seems graceful to us above that which is unfortunate to us. What is broken, fractured and hidden can be noticed thanks to the contrast with what is integrated, what is linked, what is united.
We can only recognize light when we have been in the dark. We need those contrasts to learn and grow.
A couple of years ago I faced a big change in my life. As soon as I received it, I rejected it, I closed the door on it. This particular change was painful. I resisted for a long time until I understood that life gave me an opportunity to learn something and that that learning was involved in that change. So I let go of my resistance and welcomed that new thing. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth the effort.
I understood the impermanence of life, of my life. Everything is changing, even if we don’t want to see it or accept it. Accepting winter allows us to then embrace spring.
Think about that change you are experiencing today.
Rest assured that there will be something for you after him. It will then be up to you to trust your intuition, embrace your change and cross that river.
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