You’ve probably discovered, like me, that your life is not a straight line, it moves rather in a spiral.
Years ago we started the trip and in the suitcase we put, among other things, expectations as luggage. We made decisions, some right and others not so much. Some in conscience and others on autopilot.
Today we look back and feel happy about many virtuous events and a few achievements, but also when we look back, we realize that we would have liked to have acted differently or made a few decisions differently.
We tend to look at the black dot on the white sheet. To evaluate and criticize ourselves excessively, when we see the complete story, like when we observe what happened an hour ago.
I will give you an example. Do you remember what you told yourself with your last mistake? Did you speak harshly to yourself? We have harbored the false belief that we need to treat ourselves poorly to motivate ourselves. Surely we would never treat others as we sometimes treat ourselves.
Constant self-criticism releases high cortisol and that gives us stress. It makes us enter a downward spiral in which demotivation grows.
Try practicing compassion as an antidote to excessive self-criticism.
Self-compassion, as defined by psychology doctor Kristin Neff, is being kind, warm, and understanding with yourself when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than criticizing and blaming yourself or ignoring pain and negative feelings. This pain can come from both the external conditions of life, when they are painful, and from your actions, failures, and your own weaknesses.
In contrast, she adds that high levels of self-compassion are associated with high levels of happiness, life satisfaction, optimism, curiosity, wisdom, social connection, personal motivation for necessary changes in one’s life, emotional intelligence, kindness, and peace.
Isn’t that what many of us look for during the trip?
Our bodies are programmed to respond to warmth, gentle touch, and kind words. When we are compassionate with ourselves we reduce cortisol levels. And when we feel safe and welcomed (first by ourselves), we simply do our best.
Cultivate self-compassion.
It literally depends on you having the inspiration to make better decisions in this present, in your today.
So before saying hurtful words to yourself, give yourself comforting and loving words so that your brain responds intelligently to daily challenges.
Love is the beginning of everything, the reason we are here and the north that guides most of our steps, sometimes consciously, sometimes without realizing it, throughout this wonderful adventure that is existence. Eduard Punset
That love that Punset talks about begins when we exercise self-compassion.